


It's never too late to make things right

by Dasetho



Series: facing the past and shaping the future [3]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fatherhood, Post-Season/Series 06, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25667146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dasetho/pseuds/Dasetho
Summary: When Jeff flew to DC to surprise Annie, he hadn't expected them to kiss on just his second night there. But they did. And now they have to deal with the consequences.
Relationships: Annie Edison/Jeff Winger
Series: facing the past and shaping the future [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837951
Comments: 40
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to "unexpected reunions" and "the fathers you can't leave behind and the lovers you can't let go". It picks up directly where the latter left off, so I highly recommend reading those two first if you haven't already, otherwise you might have a hard time understanding what's going on in this one.

There were several moments in Jeff’s life when he thought he had it all figured out. And then there were moments when the universe decided to show him that he definitely hadn’t. When he won his first case as a lawyer, without even having a real degree, he felt like the world was his to take. But he was eventually busted, and his career went up in flames. When he graduated from Greendale, he thought that things were finally going his way again. But the real world just chewed him up and spit him out and he ended up back there in no time.

And when he kissed Annie in the study room and told her he let her go, he thought that he made peace with the way things developed around him and that he could finally accept the direction his life was taking. But now he was kissing her again, proving to himself that he was most definitely not able to let Annie go after all.  
And as the world around him slowly faded away, his mind suppressing anything that wasn’t Annie, he realized that it was idiotic to think that letting her go was even a real possibility. 

He didn’t know how long they stood there, how long her lips had been on his, but when they parted, he knew it hadn’t been long enough. He needed more. He needed to kiss her again. And while there were at least a hundred little voices in his head telling him to control himself, the one that urged him to go further was louder this time.

They hadn’t been apart for more than a second before he pulled her closer to him once more and pressed his lips back onto hers. He couldn’t accurately tell who initiated the first kiss, but this one was definitely on him, and he wasn’t ashamed of that at all. Because any uncertainty or guilt he might have felt was washed away by the tidal wave of emotions that hit him as soon as the contact between their bodies was restored. Kissing Annie felt like the fulfillment of all his desires and it claimed all of his senses at once. The chill of the night became a distant memory as his core was heating up and the sounds of the city around them tuned out, only leaving the ever-growing crescendo of his heartbeat. Lust and curiosity trumped all other factors of his decision-making and it was a mixture of both that urged him to go further.

He moved his hand up to the back of her head and entangled his fingers within her hair searching desperately for some part of her to hold onto. Abandoning all of his inhibitions, he slowly but decisively parted her lips with his tongue and felt her shiver a little at the advance. But she didn’t resist and let him enter allowing them both to be completely lost in the moment again. 

For the tiniest fraction of a second, he thought about how to end it but immediately realized that he didn’t want to. This moment could last forever, and it still wouldn’t be enough. They were only going forward, passing the point of no return with still no destination in sight. Jeff wanted to explore further, feel more of Annie, and be closer to her than he ever dared to be before. 

But suddenly, it was over. 

Annie pushed herself off him and took a step back, putting both hands on her mouth as if she couldn’t believe what that part of her body had just done.  
The initial feeling of emptiness and loss that he felt when she moved away from him was soon replaced by an unbearable amount of remorse when he realized what had happened.

He tried to come up with something to do, but the storm raging in his mind denied him the ability to think clearly. His first impulse was to run, but his body was unresponsive, and he barely trusted his legs to keep him upright. He just stood there, frozen to the spot, unable to move, unable to talk, unable to do anything.  
Just seconds ago, he wanted the moment to go on forever, now he wished it had never happened. Because it led to the moment he was experiencing right now. The one that actually seemed to go on forever, as Annie was standing in front of him, her expression clearly one of shock. 

He needed to do something to save the situation, to repair his own fuck-up. If this went badly, he might lose her forever.

“Annie…I’m sorry” he said. It came out as little more than a whisper. “I…I shouldn’t have-“

“Jeff, no. Please just…stop apologizing” Annie pleaded with audible frustration. 

Jeff was unsure how to respond, taken aback by her tone. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I wanted that kiss just as much you”

Slowly but surely, the feeling returned to his limbs, but his mind was still darkened by thunderclouds.

“But you-“ She didn’t let him finish.

“I know, I pulled back. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want it. I just…I was just a little surprised by how far it went”

A slight bit of panic returned to him, and the feeling of guilt laid heavier on his chest.

“That’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen Annie. I could never forgive myself if I forced you into anything”

“But you didn’t!” Annie almost threw the words at him. “You didn’t force me, I wanted it. I decided to kiss you, so please stop acting like you committed a felony. Because if you feel like a criminal after every time we kiss, then there really is no way we can make this work”

Silence fell between them, and Jeff let the weight of her words sink in completely before asking a question, unsure if he actually wanted to hear the answer to it.  
“What is _this_ then? What is _this_ that you want to make work?”

Annie opened her mouth to answer but quickly closed it again. Her look went to the ground and Jeff almost instinctively reached over to comfort her, but he controlled himself and held back. It wasn’t an easy question to answer. And if she needed time and space to sort her thoughts, then he had no intention of pushing her. 

After a few more seconds, Annie lifted her head again, her crystal-blue eyes now shining bright with determination. 

“Look, you don’t have to call me your girlfriend if that scares you so much. But this is something. It’s more than just _platonic shoulder-holding_. And you can’t deny that after what just happened”

“What just happened is exactly the reason why I _have_ to deny it” He said, slightly raising his voice. “I could barely control myself, Annie. You don’t need that sort of crap in your life. You don’t need a washed-up loser like me holding you back”

Annie shook her head in frustration. “Jeff, I don’t know how you can say that all that nonsense, and it’s really bad enough that you obviously can’t respect yourself. But can’t you at least respect me?”

Jeff didn’t understand. How could she think that he didn’t respect her when his respect for her was the only reason he forced this drama onto himself.  
“How can you say that I don’t respect you? I respect you more than anyone else in the world!”

“Oh, do you really now?” She replied, matching his volume. “Then why did you just _let me go_? Why did you make that decision for us both? Don’t I get a say in this too? Jeff, I want to be with you. And of course, I don’t know for sure where this will go from here, but I do know that I can’t just be your little friend anymore. I can’t just let you pat me on the head and turn away from me every time things get a little too real between us”

“I do that to protect you!” he said, trying to convince himself just as much as her.

“Well, I don’t need protection!” Annie replied sharply. “I’m not a little girl anymore, I can look after myself”

Jeff was starting to get desperate, as he tried again to explain his motivations to her. “This isn’t about you being a little girl Annie, this is about me being a bad influence on you. I’m doing the right thing here!”

“Oh, screw you! And screw doing the right thing!”

There was no denying now that they were shouting at each other. And as that realization hit them, they both stopped talking and just looked at one another.  
Jeff could physically feel the tension in the air, and he didn’t dare to say another word, afraid that choosing the wrong one might just make the floor under their feet disappear.

And after what felt like an eternity had passed, it was Annie who first opened her mouth again.

“Do you remember Borchert’s lab?” She asked, now in a much calmer tone. “Do you remember what I said to you and the others?”

Jeff didn’t respond at first. He remembered every part of that day, and he probably would for the rest of his life. 

“We are human beings…” he said after a while, reciting the speech she gave to him and their friends. “and we don’t get to decide which dreams are worthwhile”

“And?” 

“And we have to respect each other enough to let each other want what we want. No matter how transparently self-destructive or empty our desires may be”

“Can you do that Jeff?” She asked, giving him a fragile smile. “Can you respect me enough to accept that I want you? And can you respect yourself enough to accept that you want me?”

The expectant look he got from her was killing him because he knew she was right. But could he really go back on the promise he had made to himself? The promise to let her go and not burden her again. He knew that if he gave in to his desire now, there was probably no turning back. So he tried one final time to make her understand.

“It’s not that easy Annie, of course, we may want each other…but relationships are complic-“

He couldn’t finish the word before Annie closed the distance between them, grabbed him by the collar, and pulled him into another kiss.  
It wasn’t a passionate one like the last kiss and it wasn’t as sweet and romantic as the one before that. The contact was soft, and it was over in an instant but it still carried across enough meaning to stun Jeff into silence yet again.

“Nothing complicated about that” Annie said drily and adjusted the collar of his shirt. 

Jeff was frozen to the spot again. Not out of fear and remorse this time, but out of sheer astonishment. This girl, this _woman_ standing in front of him had come a long way since their first encounter all those years ago. She had always had a certain spell over him, but he couldn’t remember ever feeling so overwhelmed and powerless against the sheer strength of her will. This Annie before him had become dangerous a long time ago and now she was downright unbeatable. At this point, he wasn’t even able to tell if he had been seduced or if it was the result of rational evaluation, but he decided that there was no use in resisting any longer.

“You’re right”

Annie took a step back and gave him a puzzled look. 

“Re…really?”

Almost relieved that Annie’s façade of complete confidence had cracked at least a little, Jeff took her hands into his and gave her a reassuring smile.

“Really. Annie, I don’t know what to tell you. You’re right. I…should have respected you more. I should have seen that this was as much your decision to make as it was mine. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see that before. And…” 

He hesitated shortly, looking into her eyes to see any possible change in her expression, but he still only found the same surprised look as before.

“…And if _this_ is still what you want, then I’m willing to give it a shot”

Annie’s eyes went wide. “Wait…So does this mean…”

“I guess it does”

His words were followed by silence. They just looked at each other, processing the commitment they just made. Jeff felt regret and happiness fighting for the spot at the forefront of his mind, neither being able to outright defeat the other. And looking at Annie’s expression, he could see that a similar struggle must have been going on in her mind as well. 

This really wasn’t how he had envisioned a moment like this. Getting together with Annie, kissing her again, and committing to… _something_ with her. He had thought that if any of that ever happened, it would be a moment of clarity. A moment in which he would be certain of everything he had ever done and everything he was about to do. But this wasn’t that at all. This was running into complete darkness, unable to find the way back and just hoping that whatever he will find on the other side was worth the risk.

Jeff had never been a religious person, but there was a lot he would have given in that moment for some sort of sign from the heavens to tell him if what he was doing was right. But in the absence of any such divine interventions, a look into Annie’s eyes would have to do. They were the most magical and divine things he could find in close proximity after all. And if the shine he saw in them was anything to go by, what he was doing seemed more than right and it just might be worth the risk and then some.

So he let go of one of her hands and interlocked his fingers with hers on the other, before giving her a soft smile and slightly tilting his head in the direction they were going earlier.

“Walk you home?”

Annie returned his smile with an even bigger one and nodded. 

The silence mostly continued as they walked the rest of the way to Annie’s apartment. Everything there was to say had been said between them tonight, and they were happy to just be in each other’s presence, sneaking in a romantic look or a little kiss here and there, until they arrived in front of Annie’s building.

“So…thanks for tonight” Annie said, turning to face Jeff.

He responded by pressing a soft kiss on the back of her hand. “Anytime” 

She let out a little giggle and blushed slightly. “How about tomorrow then? I only work a half-day tomorrow, so you could pick me up at work and we can grab some lunch in the city”

“Sounds perfect, I’ll be there. Can you send me the address?”

“Sure, I’ll text you later”

There was silence between them again. Leaning a lot more into the awkward direction this time. Jeff wasn’t sure how to best end this night with her. He definitely didn’t expect her to invite him up to her apartment or anything like that. But just leaving now didn’t feel quite right to him either.  
But as neither of them came up with anything to say for a couple more seconds, Jeff decided that calling it a night and picking it up tomorrow was probably his best option.

“I guess I’ll head back to the hotel then” 

Annie looked at him for a second and he wasn’t sure if it was disappointment or relief he saw in her expression. Whatever it was, she quickly hid it behind a smile and moved towards him, closing the distance between them with one step. 

Jeff still wasn’t entirely sure how to react, as Annie rose to her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. It was a short peck at first but before he could even fully register that that was over, she already went in again and it turned into a little bit more the second time.

Jeff was startled for a second but he quickly found his senses again. He put his hands on her hips to support her and returned the kiss, indulging in the soft feel of her between his hands and the sweet taste of her lips.

His mind almost went into overdrive again, but he managed to control himself. They parted slowly this time and Jeff could feel that Annie was making sure not to end the kiss as abruptly as the one they had before. And somehow, that tiniest of gestures made him fall in love with her all over again.

They let go of each other, and the one step she made away from him already felt like far too much distance between them. Jeff almost considered asking her if he could stay the night, but his restraint won out again, although the margin of its victories kept shrinking every time. He was sure that if Annie just kept looking at him the way she did now, his heart would one day win over his head and his basic urges and desires would take over. But today was not that day.

“Goodnight” He said, giving her a soft smile and hoping that she wouldn’t make this any harder on him than it already was. Luckily for him, Annie just returned the smile before looking down and pulling her key out of her purse.

“Good night, Jeff” She said, giving him one final look before turning around and opening the door to her apartment building.

Jeff stood there for a few more seconds, watching her disappear behind the closing door and contemplating all the things that happened over the last few hours. This has certainly turned into a night that he wouldn’t forget very quickly, if ever. And the thought that, no matter how this whole thing turns out in the end, he would have the memory of tonight for the rest of his life, brought a smile to his lips.

A smile that didn’t leave even as he called a cab and looked at his phone the entire ride to the hotel, waiting for Annie’s message to arrive. 

It took a while and Jeff was already worried that she might have forgotten about it. Although that would just mean he would have to call her tomorrow and he thought to himself that he might actually prefer that, as it would mean that he’d get to hear her voice first thing in the morning.

But after he passed the hotel-lobby and was already standing in front of the elevators, the message did arrive and Jeff eagerly opened it, already preparing an answer in his mind. He was just about to start typing when he suddenly heard someone say his name.

“Mr. Winger?”

Jeff looked up from his phone. His eyes wandered around in confusion for a second, searching for whoever called out to him, before turning around and seeing the receptionist that had handled his check-in a few days ago. 

“Yes, that’s me” he said, unsure of what the woman wanted from him.

“I’m sorry to bother you sir, but I just wanted to ask you if you know the man sitting in the lobby. One of our employees recalled seeing you together this morning and we just wondered if everything is alright with him”

She pointed in the direction of the little seating area where Jeff spotted a familiar face, sleeping in one of the chairs. 

“How long has he been there?” He asked, slight concern in his voice.

“Since about noon. He said there was an issue with his connection up in his room and that he had to wait here because he’s expecting a call. But his phone was quiet the whole day, and he just sort of sat there the entire time”

“I see…thank you, I…I’ll take care of it”

Jeff didn’t know how to best approach the situation. Since he kissed Annie goodnight about half an hour earlier, his mind had just been in a different place entirely. But he did his best to get his thoughts grounded again, before walking over to the chair that his friend was sitting in and tapping him on the shoulder.

“David?” 

He opened his eyes and startled a little when Jeff called out his name.

“Jeff? God, you scared me there kid”

“Sorry about that, hope you’re not having a heart attack”

David chuckled at the remark. “At some point in your life, that stops being a joke and starts becoming a real concern”

Jeff sat down on the chair next to him. Putting on a smile to keep the conversation light for now.

“Well, I’m doing my best to delay that point for as long as possible” 

“Sorry to break it to you kid,” David said. “But avoiding egg yolks isn’t going to beat father time”

“I figured. But a good night’s sleep might increase my chances. Care to share with me why you were spending yours in a crappy hotel-lobby chair?”

Jeff tried his best to keep his smile, while still making clear that the question was serious.

“Oh, that? Well, you know how it is, you get older, and eventually, you just start falling asleep everywhere. But looking at you, I guess you don’t have to worry about that for another 20-30 years”

Unconvinced by David’s explanation, Jeff leaned forward in his chair, his smile now making room for a neutral expression.

“David, you’ve been here all day, staring at a quiet phone. The hotel staff are worried about you”

If David had an emotional reaction to Jeff’s words, he did a good job of not showing it.

“It was Susan, right? The receptionist? I talked to her earlier, very nice woman. She has two kids you know?”

“David”

“She showed me some pictures of them earlier, beautiful children, a boy and a girl. Five and seven years old I think. Honestly, I think that’s the-”

“David!”

Jeff didn’t mean to raise his voice. And he was sure that the few people that were still in the lobby this late must have surely heard him. But it did the job, David snapped out of his rambling and looked Jeff in the eyes.

“What is up with this phone call David? You told me about it this morning. But apparently whoever you’re expecting still hasn’t called. What’s so important that you literally spent an entire day of your vacation just waiting for your phone to ring?”

“You wouldn’t understand” David said, turning his face away from Jeff.

“Why not?” Jeff asked.

“Because you’re not a father!” 

Now it was David who had raised his voice. And he instantly seemed to regret it, looking around the room for a moment before sinking deeper into his chair.

“You’re right, I’m not” Jeff said. “Probably for the best, since my own one was pretty much as crappy as they come” 

He put on a fragile smile to hide the pain that arose in him as he remembered his dad.

“Well, that’s something you and my kids have in common” David said, as he picked up his phone from the table. “I guess you’d understand how they would want nothing to do with me”

Jeff felt a familiar sadness at the sight of the man sitting next to him the tragedy of a broken family being something that he could relate to all too well. It always struck him as somewhat ironic that he constantly ended up meeting people with struggles similar to his own, oftentimes even worse. It had happened so often at this point that he just figured it was the universe’s messed up way of having him relive his own painful memories over and over again. And maybe it was just a way for him to cope with his own issues, but Jeff felt a strong urge to help David with his situation. Or at least give him a few words of encouragement. 

“Look, David, I don’t know your kids, but I know how hard it can be to grow up in a broken family. And while I don’t know the first thing about fatherhood, I think what you’ve got to do is just keep on trying. Just…keep on showing that you care and maybe, after some time, your kids will start to accept you again. I can’t promise anything, but at least that’s what I would have wanted my father to do”

There was a moment of silence between them, and Jeff wasn’t sure how much impact his words had really had, but after a few seconds, David seemed to relax a little and Jeff even saw a hint of a smile appear.

“Thank you, Jeff. That…it means a lot to me”

“No problem,” Jeff said, relieved to hear that he could be of some help. “Now can you please go to your room? Because I can’t promise that Susan isn’t going to call an ambulance if you fall asleep here again”

David laughed quietly and looked over to the woman standing at the reception.

“Can’t let that happen, right? Don’t worry, I’ll go to bed now. People my age really shouldn’t be up this late anyway”

“Agreed”

They both got up and made their way to the elevator. Susan gave them a warm smile as they passed the reception. They entered the cabin silently and didn’t speak a word until the doors opened when they reached Jeff’s floor and he stepped through into the corridor. 

He gave David a quick nod on the way out but turned around before the doors closed again.

“David,” He said, getting his friend’s attention. “You’ll get that call, alright?”

David’s response was a smile and quick thumbs up before he disappeared behind the closing elevator doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I hope the fact that this basically starts off in the middle of the story isn't too offputting.  
> The whole series is more like one cohesive story than three separate ones, so I felt like putting in an introduction or a sort of flashback at the beginning of this chapter wouldn't really work.
> 
> Hope you still enjoyed it! And the next chapter should be out sometime next week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and David have another talk over breakfast and Annie is eager to spend her first day with Jeff in their kind-of-relationship.

„So how did your date go yesterday?”

Jeff almost spat out his coffee when David asked him about last night. His friend had already been sitting at the same table as yesterday when Jeff arrived at the buffet. And having rather enjoyed the last breakfast they had together, he was all too happy to sit with him again, especially since their encounter last night still left some unanswered questions.

But Jeff decided to not force the topic on him if it didn’t come up naturally, so their conversation to this point had been mostly lighthearted banter about random stuff. But then David decided to bring up that other peculiar topic, and Jeff suddenly found himself under interrogation about his date with Annie. 

“It was good” he said after making sure that his coffee had made its way down his throat. “Had a really good time actually”

When Jeff realized his mistake, it was already too late.

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re not going to correct me on the ‘date’ thing? What happened?”

Mentally slapping himself for being so careless, Jeff tried to think of ways to talk his way out of this situation. But one look at the smug grin David was showing him was enough to accept defeat.

“Well, I guess at some point it just…sort of turned into a date”

“And what point would that be?” David asked, clearly a lot more invested in this than Jeff would have liked.

“Well, you know” Jeff said, trying to reveal as little as possible. “I think it just…eventually started to feel like a date. You know…the way we talked, the way we looked at each other, stuff like that”

“You kissed her, didn’t you?”

Jeff's eyes went wide. “What?”

“Knew it”

Jeff returned his attention to his cup of coffee, desperately hoping that it would somehow end the conversation. But David didn’t do him the favor.

“Well? Tell me about it, was it good?”

“Yeah…it was great” Jeff said after hesitating briefly. “It was almost too good” 

The memory of his Kiss with Annie washed over him again. Unfortunately, his mind always made sure to put special emphasis on the last few seconds of that experience, when Annie pushed herself off him and looked at him with shock in her eyes.

“So, you’re officially dating now?” David asked, interrupting Jeff’s thoughts.

“No! Or well actually yes, but it’s not…it’s more of a…well, it’s a _thing_ ”

“God, Jeff, does everything have to be so god damn complicated with you?”

Jeff let out a laugh. He wished there was a satisfying answer to that question. But for someone who used to take pride in putting as little effort into everything as possible, Jeff had really developed a habit of making things unnecessarily hard. 

“It’s just not that easy sometimes”

“Let’s make it easy then” David said, folding his hands on the table and looking directly at Jeff, who gave him a curious look back.

“How do you plan on doing that?”

“Does she want to be in a relationship with you?” David asked matter-of-factly, completely ignoring Jeff’s questioning look.

“What?”

“Answer the question”

Seeing no real way out, Jeff decided to play along for now.

“I think she does. I mean, she’s at least willing to try it”

“Great” David said. “And do you want to be in a relationship with her?” 

“It’s not that easy”

“Just answer the question”

Jeff let out a sigh and dropped his head in frustration.

“I…I do. Honestly, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t”

“That’s good” David said. “so you both want to be with each other, you already had a date, and you kissed. Jeff, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re on your best way to actual happiness!”

“I guess I am” Jeff said with a nod, realizing a second too late that he probably should have tried to sound a little more convincing.

David’s response was inevitable. “You don’t seem like it. You still seem pretty conflicted to be honest…why?”

Jeff contemplated for a few seconds on how to best explain the complex and confusing emotional structure that he had built in his mind over the last few years. He barely had a grasp on it himself, only knowing that it had prevented him from fully committing to his feelings for Annie. 

“Well…let me put it this way. Have you ever had someone in your life, that was just…too good for you? Someone who you know deserves much better than you. Someone who couldn’t possibly benefit from you being in their life, because you would surely just drag them down”

David opened his mouth to respond, but then his gaze wandered to his phone, lying quietly on the table. The second he looked at it, he seemed to rethink whatever he was going to say and instead just nodded slowly.

Jeff decided to ignore David’s momentary hesitation and continued. “That’s the situation I find myself in. I want it, she wants it. But I still have this nagging feeling in the back of my head, telling me that I shouldn’t do this”

“Jesus…she must really be something if she’s got you this convinced that you’re not good enough for her” David said, slightly shaking his head in disbelief.

Jeff nodded in response. “You can say that again. Trust me, if you’d meet her, you would understand”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that” David said. “But I still think you’re wrong”

Jeff raised an eyebrow in confusion. “About what exactly?”

David took a short pause as if to indicate that what he was about to say was especially important.

“About your own role in all of this. Honestly, Jeff, I understand how you feel. But I think you’re going about it the wrong way. Look, it’s a good thing that you’re willing to accept that she’s too good for you. But relationships aren’t about who you are going into them, they are about who you are willing to become for the other person. If you’re not good enough for her, then be better. Become a better person. Make more of yourself. Simple as that”

If it hadn’t been for that last part, Jeff might have let David’s word resonate with himself at least a little. But he knew from experience that changing for the better is far from easy. It was a difficult and meticulous process that required a lot of energy, sacrifice, and most importantly time.

“Okay Miyagi, you can’t just put _‘simple as that’_ at the end of a speech and expect everything to magically turn easy. And you can’t just turn into a better person whenever you feel like it"

“You should listen more closely kid” David said, clearly a little agitated by Jeff not taking his words seriously. “Of course, it’s not easy. I never said it was. I just said the concept is simple. You’ll still need to put in a lot of hard work to realize it”

“A lot of hard work, and time” Jeff said before pointing at himself “I’m not 25 anymore David”

“Oh, don’t give me that crap Jeff. I mean look at yourself, you seem perfectly healthy and you’re obviously in shape. Most 25-year-olds probably don’t have as many good years ahead of them as you do”

Jeff tried to think of a response, but David didn’t let him finish that process.

“Look, Jeff, I’m turning 60 later this year. And I still plan on turning some things in my life around. In fact, that’s the whole reason I flew out here to DC. So, I do hope that someone like you, with way more time and energy left in the tank, can at least try to follow suit” 

Whatever response Jeff had thought up was thrown away as he realized that there might be some truth to what he was hearing right now. 

Of course, he wouldn’t get any younger, but that couldn’t be an excuse to just stop trying. Because even if he didn’t see himself as being worth the effort, Annie certainly was. And if this thing with her was to go anywhere, Jeff knew he had to become someone who actually deserved to be with someone as great as her. How he would accomplish that he didn’t know. And he probably wouldn’t in a few hours either, when he was supposed to pick her up from work. But he put it right on top of his priority list to figure this out. And he had to admit that doing so actually made him feel a bit better about meeting her later that day. 

• ---

Annie couldn’t wait for her shift to end. Usually, she was never one to be extremely joyful at the end of a school or workday. She always tried to see positive aspects of her job, and not focus too much on just getting her shift done and heading home. On most days, she would just continue studying or doing something work-related at home anyway.

But today was different. And when the clock finally hit 12:00, Annie packed her stuff and left the lab a lot more eagerly than usual. She tried to make sure her coworkers didn’t notice too much of a difference but judging by the looks she got, that attempt failed miserably. Although she did set herself up for failure from the start, when she put on a bright blue dress this morning that, while still being completely appropriate for work, was definitely a bit more revealing and figure-hugging than what she would normally wear.

And after she walked down the stairs and out of the building with what could only be described as a skip in her step, she was happy to see the reason for her excitement already waiting for her outside, dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a dark blue button-up.

“Hey there” Jeff said, and Annie could swear she saw him look her up and down for just a second, which if she was being honest to herself, just made her feel appreciated in all the right ways.

“Hey yourself” she said, with a bright smile on her face.

She noticed immediately that there was something different about him today. His smile was wider, and his features seemed more relaxed. It almost caught her off guard a little to see him this…happy.

It definitely caught her off guard when he skipped the hug she was trying to give him and instead went straight for a kiss. 

She wanted to stop him, knowing full well that PDAs in the office won’t help her to make a good impression with her superiors And with her background, she already had to work twice as hard as anyone else. But the one second she spent thinking about possible career consequences was enough for Jeff to close the distance between them. She let out an involuntary squeal at the sudden contact and regretted her reaction immediately when Jeff took a step back and raised his hands in an apologetic gesture.

“sorry” He said, albeit with a much more playful tone than when he apologized to her the night before. His words obviously didn’t come from the same place as yesterday, and Annie was happy that she didn’t need to worry anymore about him regretting every bit of contact they make.

“It’s ok Jeff, I-“ She was interrupted by a shrill voice, coming from behind her.

“Annie Edison!” Annie’s eyes went wide as she heard her friend Sarah call out her name. 

“PDA at the office? Naughty Annie…” Sarah said walking up to them.

Annie didn’t know how to salvage this situation. She had already thought about possible excuses she could make if one of her superiors walked by but having her tattletale coworker see her and Jeff kissing was something, she didn’t have any contingency plans for. 

Clearly sensing her discomfort, Jeff took the initiative instead and extended his hand to Sarah.

“Hi, I’m-“

“Oh, I know who you are… _Mr. Winger_ ”

Jeff gave her a surprised look, before peering over to Annie who just wanted to die right now.

“Annie has told me all about you Mr. Handsome Law-Professor” 

“Sarah!” Annie said, swatting at her coworker’s arm. But the damage was already done, as Jeff’s expression went from surprised to smug really quick.

“Did she now?” He said. “Did she mention anything specific?”

Now it was his turn to get swatted at by Annie.

“Jeff, we’re leaving!” She said while grabbing his arm and dragging him away from Sarah, who just enjoyed the scene happening before her.

“See you tomorrow Annie, I want _all_ the details!”

Annie made sure to drag Jeff at least a few hundred feet clear of her workplace. Although her ruff pulling of his arm gradually turned into a soft holding of his hand. And less than a minute later, they were walking down the street like nothing happened. 

“So, any place you fancy for lunch?” Jeff said after a while.

Annie was relieved that he didn’t address the situation they just escaped, but she was convinced that it would be coming up again sooner or later.

“There is this really nice-looking café just around the corner. I hear they got some great salads” 

The special emphasis she put on that last word didn’t go unnoticed.

“I can’t tell if you’re being condescending, but I hope you realize that after you made me eat a whole burger yesterday, salads are practically the only thing I can eat for the next two weeks” 

Annie laughs and playfully puts a hand on his stomach to feel his muscles. 

“Hmm…nope, I think you’re good”

They arrived at the café shortly after, opting for a table outside. And while her comment from earlier was meant as more of a joke, they both ended up ordering salads after they saw the woman at the table next to them eat one and realizing that they actually did look quite good.

“So, you seem to be getting along well with your coworkers” Jeff said after their food arrived, clearly referring to the embarrassing encounter they had with Sarah earlier.

Annie just pretended not to notice the clear implication.

“Yeah, they’re all very nice. Honestly, I’m just glad they’re not looking down on me, you know, coming from some unknown Community-College and all that” She said, trying her best not to sound too belittling when talking about Greendale.

“Uhm, I happen to teach at that unknown Community-College thank you very much” 

She was already about to apologize when she saw his serious expression, but then Jeff dropped the façade and flashed her a smile, making her roll her eyes at him.

“You know what I mean Jeff. All the other interns come from these renowned schools. Like at least half of them went to an Ivy-league college”

“Yeah, but you’re Annie Edison! You’re better than any of those snobs!”

“But they still haven’t offered me anything past the internship. Right now, I’m still without a job in like three weeks”

He didn’t respond immediately, and when Annie looked over to him, she saw him eyeing his food with a thoughtful look.

She hadn’t really considered how he would react to her concerns about her employment situation. Jeff would of course never expect or want her to think about him when making career decisions. Or at least that’s what he will probably say if she would ask him. 

But there had to be at least a little part of him that wanted her to come back to Greendale with him. Or maybe she just wanted that part to be there…

“They’ll offer you something sooner or later” Jeff said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “I mean, they couldn’t possibly be stupid enough to let you go” 

“You were” 

She dropped her fork when she realized that she had actually just said that. That was definitely meant to be an unverbalized thought.

“Oh god, Jeff, I’m so sorry” She said, burying her face in her hands. “That was so uncalled for, I…I really didn’t mean to-“

She was interrupted by the sound of his laughter. Peering at him through her hands, she was surprised to see him give her a sympathetic look, clearly not upset by what she had said.

“I think I deserved that one” He said, still with a big grin on his lips. “And yeah, I was stupid enough to let you go, but look at me now. Couldn’t even manage two full months before flying after you”

Grateful that her little slip up hadn’t caused any damage, Annie dared to look up again and saw Jeff put his hand on the table in an offering gesture. She gladly accepted and put her hand into his, interlocking their fingers. A tingling warmth spread out from her fingertips to the rest of her body, and her mind went to another place entirely. The feeling was closely familiar to Annie and a totally new experience at the same time. It was something that she knew only Jeff could make her feel. 

And she wanted to let him know that he did. She wanted to express her feelings to him and let him into the wonderful world his presence created in her mind. He should know that the way he looked at her made her heart grow three sizes. That his every word resonated in her as a never-ending echo, filling every crevice that felt empty before. That his touch alone generated heat in her comparable to the surface of the sun. She wanted to put all these feelings into words. Unfortunately for her, what came out of her mouth, in the end, didn't really bring any of that across.

“Your hands are warm”

_smooth Annie, very smooth_

After they had finished the rest of their meal, they left the café and she led him to a small park that she had been going to a lot after work or during breaks. She described it to him as one of the places she went to whenever she just wanted to get away from the world for a little bit.

They sat down in the shade of a large oak tree. Jeff put his arm around her shoulders and she gladly nuzzled up against him, resting her head on his chest. 

“So, is this like one of your favorite spots?”

“Oh yeah…” Annie said, moving even closer to him. 

She realized a second after that, that he was probably talking about the spot under the tree, and not about her position snuggled up against him. But she didn’t bother retracting her statement. It was accurate either way.

“Guess I’ll have to thank Britta next time I talk to her” She said, closing her eyes. “Sending you here was by far the best thing she ever did for me”

“Best thing she ever did for _us_ ” Jeff said with a smile, making Annie blush a little.

The thought of there actually being an _‘us’_ still seemed crazy to her. She was almost waiting for someone to pinch her and wake her up from this beautiful dream she’s having. 

“How is she doing anyway? I haven’t talked to her in weeks”

“Well, it is Britta we're talking about” Jeff said, already chuckling a little. “so, it will probably not surprise you to hear that she’s still stumbling from one tiny disaster into the next”

Annie let out a sigh. “Do any of those disasters involve our apartment?”

Jeff replied with silence, making Annie more than a little worried. She sat up straight and faced him with her best serious look.

“Jeff, what did Britta do with my apartment?”

“I really think she should tell you herself” He said, clearly unimpressed by her attempt at being formidable. 

Good thing she knew something that worked a lot better on him than formidable.

“Annie, don’t you dare do your Disney face at me now”

But it was too late. Her Disney face was engaged and judging by Jeff's frantic attempts at looking everywhere but at her, it was already working. 

His resolve was visibly weakening second by second before he finally gave up and looked her in the eyes. That’s when she knew she had him, and she wouldn’t let him go until he gave her what she wanted. 

“Okay” He said, commencing what Annie expected would be a long and detailed report on all the damage and chaos that Britta had caused in their shared apartment. 

But to her surprise, Jeff just started to lean over to her. 

“You know, I actually devised a counter-strategy to your little doe-eye trick”

Annie was a little taken aback, but as he was clearly about to kiss her, she decided that she would accept that minor set-back. She would just get him to talk after that, ultimately just getting a kiss on top of the explanation. 

Content with how the situation had developed, Annie closed her eyes and moved towards him, closing the distance between them faster, eagerly awaiting the moment when their lips would meet.

But things didn’t go at all the way she expected. And instead of their lips being the first thing to touch, she felt his hands suddenly reach out for her sides. Unable to react quickly enough, she just managed to open her eyes and see the smirk on Jeff’s face before he set his plan into motion and started tickling her.

“Jeff! No!” 

She barely got out the words before she fell backwards, bursting into laughter. She tried to swat his hands away and get some separation between them, but Jeff quickly crawled over to her and was now hovering above her, his hands still working at her sides, almost causing her to tear up from laughter.

Annie could only imagine what a strange picture they were giving right now. Her lying in the grass, laughing uncontrollably. Him on top of her, running his hands up and down her sides, himself laughing probably at the ridiculousness of the situation. It must have looked very inappropriate. And she was about to add to that image.

Using the first moment of reprieve he granted her, Annie instantly turned the tables on him by grabbing his collar and pulling him into a rough kiss. 

Jeff was startled for a second and Annie took full advantage. She pushed him off of her and rolled onto him, a triumphant smirk on her face as he was now the one lying on the grass with her kneeling over him, trapping him with one leg on each side. 

Accepting defeat, Jeff playfully held his hands over his head. “I yield”

Annie’s triumphant smirk grew even bigger. She had completely forgotten about the whole Britta destroying her apartment thing by now. All that mattered to her was the man lying underneath her. 

“You’re not getting away that easily” she said, while slowly leaning down towards him. 

He probably had some witty retort already prepared, but she did her best to nip it in the bud, manipulating him into silence with a look alone. But as she moved her face ever closer to his, she started to reconsider their respective roles. Because with every inch she got closer to him, she felt more and more like the manipulated rather than the manipulator. 

And just a few days ago, this loss of control would have scared her to death.

Because Annie knew how dangerous it could be to lose your head in emotions. She knew that falling in love was always a risky and potentially painful endeavor. And she experienced the dangers of falling for Jeff Winger firsthand in the past.

The way he could make her feel like the most special person in the world just by talking to her, it got her hooked from the very beginning and she kept coming back for more. Because after being overlooked, neglected, ridiculed and excluded by everyone for most of her life before College, having Jeff look at her and give her his attention just fixed so many things that had been broken inside her for far too long.

Which is why every rejection she got from him in the past hurt that much more. Every time he made it clear that she was too young, every time he made her feel like a foolish kid for thinking there was something between them, every time someone or something stupid just happened to stand between them and what could have been, it hurt like hell.

But, and maybe it was naïve of her to think that way, none of that seemed to matter right now. Because even if they’re futures were as uncertain as ever, this was the first time they actually gave it a shot. No more rejections or stupid excuses. This wasn’t imaginary or theoretical anymore. They had finally openly acknowledged that there was obviously something there between them that they could no longer deny. And the fact that there was no turning back from that ironically made her feel safer about their situation than ever before.

And it was out of that safety that she felt comfortable enough to fully fall for the man underneath her and do things with him she wouldn’t have dared to before. Like kissing him passionately in a public park while lying on top of him and not even realizing how inappropriate the whole situation must have looked to anyone passing by.

She didn’t even realize when their lips had started to touch, the whole thing just turned into an unclear blur in her mind as she slowly melted into the kiss and started to lose any inhibitions she might have had before.

She felt the familiar heat rising up in her again as she pressed herself against him and the taste of him that she could only put somewhere between scotch and coffee started to fill her up. 

Time seemed to stand still and accelerate simultaneously whenever they were this close, and Annie felt as though nothing could burst the bubble their kiss had encased them in.

“Get some!”

…Well, almost nothing.

They instantly sprung apart when they heard someone shout at them. Annie’s eyes went around, searching for the owner of the voice and she quickly found an old woman in a wheelchair passing by on the path next to them. A young man was standing behind her and he gave Annie and apologetic look before quickly moving on, pushing the wheelchair in front of him and saying something to the old lady that Annie didn’t pick up.

As they disappeared behind the next corner, Annie looked back at Jeff and saw his face redden in embarrassment. But the smile he gave her quickly reassured her that they would be able to remember this situation as a humorous one rather than being too embarrassed about it.

“Maybe we should stop doing this in public all the time” Jeff said, before dusting off his jeans and fixing his collar.

Annie knew he was right, but something from deep within her told her that she hadn’t yet had enough Jeff for the day. So instead of moving ahead with her original plan and taking him to the city to show him a few more of her favorite spots, she offered him a more fun alternative.

“We could take this to my place?”

Jeff looked at her wordlessly. His expression was filled with curiosity, but she could see that he was still holding back a little. So, in an effort to make her intentions and willingness even clearer, she further sweetened the deal.

“You can stay overnight if you want”

Again there was silence. Jeff still just looked her straight in the eyes, as if he was searching for some kind of answer in them. She could only imagine what must be going through his head right now. Doubt started to slowly creep back into her mind. Maybe this would go the way it always did. He would tell her that it just couldn't work and that he can't do this. That she deserved better and that they should just end it right here before it's too late. But he didn't. Instead, he asked her a simple question.

“Annie…are you sure?"

It wasn't an expression of doubt or concern. It wasn't a rejection or an excuse. It was a final opportunity for her to get out before they both fully committed to what was about to happen between them. And Annie didn't even think about taking it.

“Jeff, I’m sure”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the second chapter! 
> 
> This one was a little bit more of a filler-chapter, but I can promise that the next one is going to include a lot more drama. I can't really make any promises on updates right now, but I hope I'll have the next chapter ready by next weekend.
> 
> Any comments and feedback are greatly appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie make a stop on the way to her place. That turns out to be a huge mistake.

Something in Jeff’s mind switched when Annie confirmed her decision to invite him over to her place. And the moment he allowed himself to accept that invitation, the point of no return had been passed. No matter how things went on from here, they were on a one-way street towards something neither of them could ever make undone.

And at this point, Jeff finally felt like he wouldn’t want to anyway.

They left the park shortly after that conversation and Jeff insisted on stopping by his hotel first. He just wanted to grab a few essentials from his room. Some clothes for tomorrow, at least a basic amount of skincare items, and - although he wouldn’t admit this to Annie up until the moment it was absolutely necessary - he also had the presence of mind to think about packing some protection before they would be on the way to her place.

But judging by how close she held him through the entire cab ride to the hotel and realizing how desperately he needed to fight his heart’s impulse to pump blood into all the wrong places, he predicted that they might not even make it out of his room at all.

Which is why at this point, as they were walking towards the entranceway, Jeff was already mentally locating his keycard in his wallet. He knew that just in a few moments when they would leave the elevator at his floor and stand in front of his door, every second would count, and he couldn’t waste any with fidgeting for his key.

But when they entered the lobby, a memory from last night popped up in his mind, right in between all the headspace that was occupied by Annie. Jeff instinctively looked over to the seating area. He was relieved to see that the only people there were a middle-aged man and woman, who both looked at a laptop sitting on the table in front of them.

“What’s the matter?” Annie asked, noticing his distraction.

Jeff quickly turned back towards her. “Oh, nothing. Just checking for a friend of mine”

“You already made friends? You've only been here like three days”

“Yeah, turns out my charming personality is just as effective outside of Colorado”

She rolled her eyes. “ugh…and I thought you left Jerk Jeff back in Greendale. Can I have sweet Jeff back please?”

He chuckled at the remark. “It’s a package deal, miss Edison, take it or leave it”

They had already crossed the lobby and were standing in front of the elevators when Annie grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around to face her. She threw her arms around his neck and his initial surprise quickly faded away, when he understood where this was going.

“Are you sure the terms are not negotiable…Mr. Winger?”

He tried his best to stay composed, but she was already doing it to him again. Her doe eyes open wide, batting her eyelashes suggestively. The corners of her mouth tilting up into a faint smile.

Jeff had years of practice in the art of keeping Annie at a distance, but there was nothing he could do to resist that look. If he was being honest, he didn’t even care to try at this point. Instead, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

Being with Annie was starting to feel completely natural at this point. The alarm bells were still ringing as a constant reminder of all the hours, days, and years Jeff had forbidden himself to even think of her in that way. But they were getting quieter and quieter, every time he felt her lips on his.

By now, they were almost gone completely.

His awareness of the world around them slowly started to dwindle again, with all his senses focusing exclusively on the woman pressed against him. He didn’t even care anymore about the people walking past them, mumbling something under their breath. Or the receptionist staring at them, clearing her throat.

He didn’t even care about the loud ding sound coming from the elevator, and the doors opening right next to them.

The first thing that managed to attract his attention, was a voice calling out to him from the elevator.

“Well, there’s a sight to behold”

Jeff quickly let go of Annie and turned to see a familiar face.

“David!”

“Oh, don’t stop on my account,” he said with a smirk on his face, clearly content to have caught them in the act.

Annie didn’t immediately adapt to the situation and for a second, she tried to pull Jeff back towards her. But then she realized what was happening and took a step back. An intense blush appeared on her face.

Jeff’s mind was already hard at work formulating a cohesive sentence that would explain everything to David while simultaneously introducing him to Annie and vice versa.

“Uhm…David, this is Annie,” he said and gestured at Annie. She smiled and turned around to face his friend, while Jeff continued his introductions. “Annie, this is-“

“Dad?”

Jeff stopped dead in his tracks when he heard what Annie said, and the smirk on David’s face immediately disappeared the second he saw who stood next to Jeff.

“Annie?” He said in disbelief and Jeff’s eyes went back and forth between the two.

“What the hell is going on?” He said, slowly processing what was happening around him.

“I could ask you the same goddamn thing” David replied, stepping out into the hallway, the elevator doors closing behind him.

Jeff was stunned into silence. In the space of a few seconds, his brain had turned from a happy place to a roaring dumpster fire. An uncontrollable mass of problems had just hit and buried him like an avalanche, and he couldn’t even begin to decide which one to address first.

But his decision was made for him when Annie turned back towards him and broke the silence.

“How do you know my dad?”

Her voice was steady but judging by the way her lip quivered and her eyes slowly started to dampen, Jeff suspected that it was merely the calm before the storm.

“Annie…I can explain,” He said, but Annie had already made her own conclusions.

“Jeff…is he the friend you just talked about? The one you were looking for in the lobby?”

There were a million things he wanted to say, but no words came out. His silence was answer enough.

“Oh my god” She put her hands over her mouth, the shock clearly visible in her eyes. “He is, isn’t he?”

Jeff knew he had to say something, or he might never get the chance to do so again

“Annie, please listen to me. This is not what it looks like”

“Really? Because it looks like you went behind my back and became friends with my freaking dad!”

“That’s not how it happened,” Jeff said, trying to explain himself. But his words fell on deaf ears.

“How could you do this to me?” A single tear ran down her face. “I told you how complicated things are between him and me and you just, what? Go out and hit it off with him?”

The tear, though it was on her face and several feet away from him, burned its way into his heart like acid. He had to do something to repair the damage.

“Annie, please, I didn’t even know who he was”

“Oh, you didn’t know?” She said in a mocking tone. “Well let me explain it to you then. This-“ she pointed at David. “This is the guy who broke my family apart and left us when I was barely twelve. He abandoned me when I was just a child and he hasn’t even so much as contacted me for almost ten years. And now for some reason, he’s your buddy”

She was crying now, there was no denying that. The tears were flowing down her cheeks and Jeff wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them and pull her into a hug.

But it was David who moved first, stepping towards his daughter.

“I’m sorry Annie. For everything. Please, if I could just-“

“No, dad,” she said, interrupting his apology. “Just…no”

She turned away from them, her shoulders still moving up and down with every sob. David stood there frozen to the spot. His hands were shaking, and he dropped his head.

Jeff approached him cautiously. “David?” He said, trying to determine just how much damage Annie’s words had done.

But when David lifted his head and looked Jeff in the eye, any sadness and disappointment in his expression were replaced by anger.

“What the hell are you doing dating my daughter?” David said, directing his rage directly at Jeff.

Taken aback by the sudden switch in tone, Jeff hesitated to reply, which David wasn’t happy about.

“Well? Do you have nothing to say for yourself? Answer me damn it!”

“David, I didn’t know she was your daughter,” Jeff said, after shaking off his initial surprise at being yelled at.

But David wasn’t even close to being satisfied with that answer.

“So let me get this straight. All this time. The girl you’ve been talking about, the complicated relationship, that was Annie all along?”

Jeff thought about what he needed to tell David to calm this conversation down, but there wasn’t really anything he could say but the truth.

“Yes. Yes, it was Annie all along. But I-“

He couldn’t finish his explanation before David interrupted him.

“Is this some sort of sick game to you? You mess with some old men just to fool around with their daughters?”

Jeff couldn’t tell if David was being serious. “What the-? No! God, no! What the hell are you even talking about? I already told you I didn’t know you were Annie’s father”

“Well you do now,” David said, now much more matter of factly, “So end it”

Jeff couldn’t believe his ears.

“What? David, you can’t be serious”

“Oh, I’m dead serious. She’s too good for you Jeff, you don’t get to be with her”

“You’re ridiculous” Jeff shook his head and tried his best to suppress the anger in his tone, “You were the one who encouraged me to go for it in the first place remember?”

“And I meant it,” David said before adding, “But I didn’t know it was my goddamn daughter we were talking about! I never would have said any of that if I knew that Annie was the one you’ve been seeing”

Jeff ran his hand through his hair. This was bad. It made him sick to know that he caused so much trouble for all of them. And he did understand where David was coming from. But he had committed to his relationship with Annie, and he wasn’t going to stray even an inch from that right now, no matter what David thought of it.

“David, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to end things with Annie. We made a commitment to one another and the fact that she’s your daughter doesn’t change that”

“A commitment? Jeff, she’s my daughter! And hell, she’s young enough to be yours too, what are you even doing dating someone so much younger?”

Now it was Jeff’s turn to get angry, and he didn’t even try anymore to hide it in his tone. “Oh, so this is about the age difference now?”

“It’s about Annie!” David said, practically shouting at Jeff by now, “For god’s sake, she’s just a kid”

Jeff clenched his fist. Hearing David resort to that particular argument brought up a fire in him.

“She’s not a kid anymore David! And you would know that if you’d actually bothered being a father to her!”

David took a step back. His angry expression disappeared for a second, as his eyes went wide in shock. But they quickly filled up with rage again. He straightened himself up and got all up in Jeff’s face, actually shoving him slightly.

“How dare you talk to me like that? Who the hell do you think you are?”

And before Jeff could reply, Annie reinserted herself in the conversation and appeared behind David.

“No dad, who the hell do _you_ think you are?”

David quickly turned around as he heard his daughter.

“Annie…” He said, clearly unprepared to suddenly talk to her instead of Jeff.

There was a fire in Annie’s eyes that Jeff had never seen before. And he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was glad it wasn’t aimed at him.

“Dad, you abandoned me. You ignored me for years, your own daughter!” Annie screamed, “And now, you just appear out of nowhere and you have the nerve to think that you get to decide who I go out with?”

David shook his head. “No, Annie please” he stuttered, “Look, this isn’t about that, I just-“

“You just what?” Annie said, impatient with her father, “I don’t give a crap about what any of this is about. You don’t get to decide how I live my life! You don’t even get to be a part of it!”

David was desperately searching for words. He opened and closed his mouth several times, before finally taking a deep breath.

“Annie, I know I screwed up. I know I should have been there for you, and I wasn’t. I can’t make that undone. But please, let me at least try to fix it”  
Jeff could hear the sincerity in David’s words. But Annie didn’t seem to be affected in the same way.

“You think you can fix it?” She said, “Do you even know all the crap I had to go through without you? All the times that mom punished me for not being perfect at everything. All the late nights I spend studying just because I couldn’t live with myself if I got anything less than an A+”

Her voice was getting shakier with every word she spoke. But her determination was still unmissable. It was clear that there was still a lot of pent-up aggression towards her dad inside her. And she seemed more than willing to use this opportunity to let it all out.

Jeff almost caught himself feeling bad for David, but he knew that Annie needed this. So he kept quiet, letting the scene in front of him unfold itself, and letting David face his daughter’s wrath on his own. And unlike Jeff’s father had done when he visited him years ago, David wasn’t even trying to justify his actions. Instead, he hung his head in shame, which actually made him a bigger person in Jeff’s mind.

“Annie, I know that what I did is unforgivable,” David said, before lifting his head and searching for Annie’s eyes “I can’t even imagine how hard all that must have been for you”

“You’re right,” She said, avoiding his gaze, “You can’t. Because you weren’t there. You-“

She wanted to continue but the words got stuck in her throat. She had to fight back her tears again and her breathing became more irregular. But before Jeff could get seriously worried, she somewhat collected herself and took a deep breath before continuing.

“You…you weren’t there when mom made life a living hell. You weren’t there when the pills became my only escape. You weren’t there when my life broke apart, and you weren’t there to help me pick up the pieces”

Jeff found it more and more difficult to listen to Annie digging out all these past traumas of hers. It was a stark reminder of how dark and twisted her path had already been. And Jeff could only imagine how hard it was for her to face these painful memories again. And looking at David, Jeff could see that it must have been just as hard for him to hear his own daughter throw those words at him.

“I know you probably won’t believe me,” David said, “But I regret all of that. More than anything in my life”

His eyes reddened slightly and his voice didn’t sound as strong and calm as it did a few minutes ago.

“Not being there for you through all these years Annie, it’s my biggest shame. It’s the biggest mistake I ever made and there is nothing that can ever make that undone. I’m sorry Annie. I truly am”

Annie slowly nodded. “Good. You should be”

Jeff wondered for a second if that was the first step of her accepting her father’s apology, but it soon turned out to be nothing along those lines.

“And I want you to keep regretting it. I hope you have sleepless nights over it and days when you can’t even lift a finger because the guilt is just too heavy. And I hope it’ll stay like that for you for the rest of your life because you will never get to be a part of mine ever again”

Jeff nearly stumbled backwards when he heard the words Annie directed at her father. David himself didn’t move at all. He seemed paralyzed by what he just heard.

“Annie, you don’t mean that,” he said, probably in one final desperate attempt to undo the damage and reverse time to a point where Annie wouldn’t say what she had just said. But it was too late.

“Yes, dad, I do,” She said decisively, “I’m proud of who I am now, Dad. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and what I’ve done. And you weren’t there for any of it, so you don’t get to be a part of it now. I’m done with you”

And before either of them could say anything more, Annie turned around and headed towards the exit. She didn’t look back once. 

Jeff was tempted to immediately follow her outside, but when he looked at David, he hesitated.

Being a father was nothing Jeff ever really thought about. He figured that by now, it was probably too late for him anyway. So he couldn’t accurately picture just how devastated David really was, after hearing all that from his own daughter. But having been around his fair share of broken people at Greendale, Jeff could tell that the man in front of him was exactly that, broken.

And he knew that he couldn’t do much to put him back together. No one probably could at this point. But Jeff still felt the need to try at least.

“David?” He said, taking a cautious step towards him. “Are you going to be alright?”

He looked up at Jeff and for just a second, all the pain and suffering of a man faced with his own biggest failure was visible in his face. He quickly tried to hide it behind a faint smile. But his eyes were telling a different story. 

“Don’t worry about it,” He said, probably well aware of just how unconvincing his facade actually was.

“I’m sorry,” Jeff said. And it was really the only thing he could say. But David just shook his head in response.

“No Jeff, I’m the one who has to apologize. I’m sorry about the way I talked to you earlier. I’ve only known you for a few days And you never even gave me the slightest reason to distrust you. But I still just made all sorts of disgusting assumptions when I saw you with Annie.”

“David, it’s alright”

“To you maybe, but to her… “ He looked in the direction where Annie had just gone. She was nowhere to be seen. 

“it might not seem like it, based on how I’ve acted for the last years,” David said. “but I do care about her, deeply. I didn’t just stop caring about her when I left. It’s...more complicated than that”

Jeff slowly nodded. “It usually tends to be”

“Yeah...I guess you’re right about that” 

David sighed and ran his hand through his hair before turning around and pressing the elevator button.

Jeff was confused at first, but David just looked back at him and gave him another of his fake smiles.

“Well, what are you still doing here? she’s probably waiting for you outside”

Jeff didn’t respond. He watched silently as the elevator doors opened, and David disappeared into the cabin. The doors closed and he was gone.

There was a good chance that Jeff had just seen him for the last time. And judging by what happened, there was an even better chance that it was Annie’s last meeting with her father as well. 

With those thoughts laying heavy on his conscience, Jeff made his way through the lobby, towards the entranceway of the hotel. He quickly spotted a familiar head of brown hair on the other side of the large glass doors. David was right, she was waiting for him. 

Jeff stepped through the door to meet her outside. He walked up to her and when she turned around, he saw that her tears had dried but the pain was still visible in her eyes.

“You want to talk about it?” He said, trying to sound as comforting as he could.

Annie didn’t answer right away, but after a few seconds, she shook her head “Not here….”

Jeff carefully put a hand on her shoulder. He was relieved to see that she doesn’t back away. 

“We can go to your place?” He said and she nodded in response.  
They exchange a quick look, and although it was brief, it told Jeff all he needed to know. He let go of her shoulder and before either of them could question his actions, he closed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug. 

Annie didn’t hesitate for a second and returned the embrace, confirming his suspicion that it was just what she needed right now.

“Do you still want to get your stuff from your room?” She asked. 

Jeff couldn’t help but chuckle as he remembered how different their original intentions were when they got there. It seemed like ages ago.

“It’s alright,” he said and put a soft kiss on the top of her head, “I got everything I need right here”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Okay, this took way longer than expected. I wrote and re-wrote this chapter like four times before finally settling on one approach. Hope you enjoyed the result! 
> 
> And since I learned from my mistakes, I'm not even going to try to predict how long the next one will take. 
> 
> Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie talk at her apartment after she met her dad again and Jeff found out who David actually was.

Annie never wanted to cry because of her dad again. And she managed to hold it together for the cab ride home. But as soon as Jeff and she entered her apartment, she just couldn’t hold back any longer. It broke out of her like a flood and she held onto Jeff so tightly that he had to gasp for air at one point. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that her dad could just show up again and still make her feel this vulnerable and broken. She had done so well without him. Over all the years that she had to spend without him, she didn’t miss him once. But now, merely seeing him already brought up all sorts of messed up emotions inside her. 

And it was even more unfair, that Jeff was now the one who had to endure all of it. His shirt was probably already ruined by her tears, but he didn’t seem to care. He just held her close and silently reassured her, that everything was going to be fine. Whatever the hell that meant at this point.

They managed to move to her couch after a while, she was leaning against his chest, her tears now slowly drying out. She listened to his steady heartbeat and felt the rhythmic heaving of his chest as he breathed in and out. It calmed her down and gave her the reassuring feeling of knowing that he was there. Close to her. Keeping her from going insane with the indescribable mess of emotions inside her. It was a mixture of anger, guilt, and hurt and it definitely wasn’t the feeling of closure she had hoped to get when she released years of pent up childhood trauma against her dad.

She could barely remember the words she had thrown at him, but his expression as he heard them was burnt in her mind. He was hurt, that was kind of the point, but more than that, he actually looked broken. Like the last bit of his will to live was ripped out of his heart with bare hands. And the fact that those hands were hers made Annie feel conflicted, to say the least. 

“Do you...want to talk about what happened now?” Jeff asked.

Annie hadn’t even really noticed the silence that had fallen between her and Jeff until he broke it, asking the one question she feared the most. She knew talking about it was the right thing to do, but that didn’t mean that she was ready for this conversation to actually happen.

“I don’t know,” She said. “I guess we have to, don’t we?”

“Not if you don’t want to”

He reached out to grab her hand and gently traced the back of it with his thumb. 

“Look, Annie, whatever you want to do, it’s fine. If you want to talk about it and work something out, I’ll help you. If you just want to vent and want me to listen, I’ll do that too. And if you don’t want to talk about it at all, then that’s ok as well, it can wait”

His words hung in the air for a few seconds, as Annie raised her head from his chest and turned to look him in the eyes.

“Thank you,” She said, knowing full well that those words didn’t even remotely describe just how grateful she was to have him here right now.

The anger she had felt at first when she realized that Jeff knew her dad was gone completely. By now she didn’t even want to imagine having to deal with this situation without him.

“Jeff...I don’t know what I want to do. I guess I’ll have to face these feelings again at some point, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for that”

He gave her an understanding nod and they fell back into silence again. It wasn’t the uncomfortable kind, but Annie wouldn’t describe it as pleasant either. It was simply the lack of noise due to everyone in the room not being able to articulate the many thoughts in their heads. Annie knew the silence wouldn’t hold for much longer and whatever came after it would probably determine the direction that the rest of their evening would be going in. She tried to think of the best way to break the silence, but once again, Jeff beat her to it. Although she was surprised by what he actually ended up saying.

“You got any booze?”

Annie just looked at him, her eyebrows raised in confusion.

“Jeff, alcohol is not a viable solution”

He laughed.

“No, but it might help us come up with one. But it’s ok if you don’t have any. Would have surprised me anyway”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She said.

Jeff quickly put his free hand up in a defensive gesture.

“Nothing,” he said, but his grin betrayed him.

Annie gasped in slightly overplayed indignation.

“Are you saying I’m not grown up enough to have booze at my place?” 

“No, I-“ he tried to explain himself but it was already too late as Annie continuously swatted him in the shoulder.

“Annie! Stop-“

But she didn’t even think about it. “This is what you get for belittling me, you jerk!” She said, grabbing a pillow to intensify her assault “And I’ll have you know that I always keep a bottle of the finest five-dollar rosé in my fridge”

“Great,” He said while defending himself from her onslaught. “I’ll get the wine and meanwhile you can change into something more comfortable”

Annie stopped her attack to look down at herself. She realized for the first time in hours that she was still wearing the blue dress she had picked out for her date with Jeff.

“You don’t like my dress?” she asked, slightly concerned. 

But Jeff quickly removed her doubts as he responded by softly putting his hand on her cheek and slowly inching towards her before pressing his lips on hers in a tender kiss. Her heart still skipped a beat every time he did that, and she couldn’t even remember what she was actually upset about just a few seconds ago. He really shouldn’t have this effect on her. Annie knew from experience that nothing that felt this good could ever be healthy. And she immediately felt the loss when Jeff moved away. 

“It’s not that I don’t like your dress,” he said, giving her a warm smile, “I actually like it too much. And the combination of me having some alcohol in my system plus you wearing that dress would most likely jeopardize our plan to have a productive conversation”

She couldn’t help but blush at his comment and judging by his triumphant smirk, that was exactly the reaction he intended to cause. Before she could come up with an equally clever retort, he put another short peck on her lips and got up to make his way to the kitchen.

Unsure where the rest of the evening would take them, Annie decided to just go along with his plan and went over to her room to change. She took off her dress and quickly deposited it into the laundry basket before opening her closet and putting on a slightly oversized black shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants.

When she stepped through the door into her living room again, Jeff had already sat down on the couch with two generously filled glasses set on the table in front of him.

He motioned to the seat next to him and Annie complied with a smile, making herself comfortable beside him. He handed her one of the glasses.

“Milady,” he said, and she gratefully accepted the drink.

They put their glasses together and when Annie took her first sip, she mentally patted herself on the shoulder for picking out a wine that was at least somewhat palatable. It really wasn’t her field of expertise by any means but remembering the crappy stuff that Sarah had brought to their last get-together, she had quickly and firmly decided that she would buy her own wine in the future. And by now, she didn’t even feel nervous about it anymore.

The good thing about rosé and most other alcohol as she found out was that it just started to taste better with every sip. By the third glass, it might as well have been one of those thousand-dollar bottles from some secluded region in France that everyone couldn’t pronounce but tried to anyway.

Facing her problems with alcohol wasn’t something Annie ever really did, and she promised herself not to make a habit out of it. But Jeff had a point. Talking about her issues was the only way to deal with them. And if drinking a few glasses of wine was what it took to get her to the point where she could do that, then so be it. Jeff being there also helped because she could trust him not to be all too intoxicated after a little wine, so at least one of them would always have control over the situation.

And she was also just generally happy to share this moment with him. Their evening had really taken an abrupt turn for the worse and she was relieved that now, their conversation really started to pick up as the level of alcohol in their blood rose.

They mostly stayed clear of the dad-topic, talking basically about anything else. They spent what Annie perceived to be way too long on the topic of what she has or has not told her coworkers during her night of drunken confessions a few weeks ago. And Jeff didn’t particularly enjoy talking about his preparation for next semester, or rather, his lack thereof. But as he was refilling her glass for the fifth time, Annie was finally at the point where her tongue had sufficiently loosened to trace the more complicated territory again.

“Jeff, do you remember what your dad was like? Before he left, I mean”

He paused for a second. The bottle in his hands was shaking slightly and Annie immediately worried that she might have just ruined their evening again. But it was only a short moment as Jeff quickly composed himself. He put the bottle back down and looked at Annie.

“I don’t remember a lot from that time, Annie. And whatever memory I do have is probably a little altered by what happened afterwards”

Annie took another sip of her rosé and thought about how to rephrase her question in a way that was perhaps a little less intrusive. The result wasn’t really what she hoped for.

“I get that. I just want to know, was there any point when your dad wasn’t…you know…”

“An asshole?” 

“…yeah, let’s go with that”

Jeff thought about what to say for a few seconds. Definitely a lot longer than usual. He took a deep breath before answering her question.

“There must have been some good in him at one point. I don’t think my mom would have married him otherwise. But honestly, the way I remember it, he was pretty much just as crappy back then as he is now. He would often come home drunk, he abused and insulted me on a regular basis. There was one time when he left me at the zoo. Said he forgot about me, but honestly, I think he just hoped I would be kidnapped or killed by a gorilla or something.”

Annie could barely believe what she was hearing. “Jeff, that’s horrible,” she said, struggling to put into words just how appalled she felt by this man that she had never even met.

“Well, he was a pretty horrible guy,” Jeff said, matter of factly, “Honestly, I tried to tell myself for way too long that it was just tough love. But there’s only so many traumatic experiences you can endure before you stop believing that crap. And luckily, I can see all of that for what it is now”

Annie just looked at him silently. She wanted to say something, a lot of things actually. But nothing came out. Nothing but three words that would just have to suffice to bring across the thousands of thoughts she had in her head.

“Jeff…thank you”

He gave her a faint smile before returning his attention to the glass in his hands. Annie did the same, and after what was supposed to be a small sip but ended up being three not so small ones, she decided that it was her time to open up.

“You know what’s weird,” she said, “As hard as I try to remember my dad as a bad person, and believe me I’ve wanted to, I always see the same picture of him in my mind. He was always kind, always considerate. And yes, after the divorce happened, things got kind of cold between us. But he still took good care of me, and honestly, he was still there for me whenever I needed him”

She paused and looked over at Jeff, who looked back at her with a caring expression. 

“What happened that made things get so bad between you two?” He asked.

“The same thing that ruined everything else in my life,” She said, immediately regretting the passive-aggressive undertone in her voice. But Jeff didn’t seem bothered, still looking at her with an understanding smile as she continued.

“When the pills happened, and I had my...incident, my mother made it clear she wasn’t going to support me through rehab, which hurt, but honestly, I kind of saw it coming. What I didn’t see coming though, was that my dad didn’t act any better. I really thought I could count on him to be there for me. But he wasn’t. He didn’t call, he didn’t visit. He just sort of...disappeared”

Tears started forming in her eyes again. She was furious with herself for still being affected by this so much.

“I just...I always tell myself that I should have seen it coming, but no matter how hard I try to remember, I can’t find anything...there was nothing to suggest he would act that way”

She really tried her best to keep it together, but remembering those days, she instantly felt like a stupid child again. And like a stupid child, she just started crying her eyeballs out.

Jeff immediately put his arms around her and pulled her towards himself. She fell into his embrace and for a second, that was all there is. It was just him and her and those stupid tears that stained his shirt again.

“It’s okay…let it all out,” He said calmly, putting a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Annie tried to speak, but her words were interrupted by sobs. “Jeff…I…I’m sorry…I want…I want to be stronger than this”

Hearing that, Jeff gently cupped her face in his hands and looked her straight in the eyes. 

“Annie. Never apologize for opening up to me. I want to be there for you, always”

They just looked at each other for a while, as Annie let his words resonate inside her. Her life wasn’t magically fixed by them, but it damn sure was easier to endure with him around.

She moved her head forward to close the distance between them. Their kiss wasn’t as good as the ones before. Her face was still a mess of tears and the kiss tasted salty and dry. But at that moment, it was all she needed. 

When she moved away from him, she locked her eyes with his and just searched for something. For regret, for anger, for disappointment. But there was none of that. All she could see in his eyes was understanding and caring. He had really come a long way from when she first met him. And knowing that she played a part in that made her feel something that neither of her parents could ever make her feel. Pride.

“This will sound stupid,” she said, “But sometimes, I wish my dad had been an asshole. I wish that he had been a terrible excuse for a father. Maybe then it wouldn’t have hit me so out of nowhere when he eventually left me”

“That doesn’t sound stupid to me at all,” He said, putting his arm around her and pulling her close. “It’s normal to feel that way. When someone betrays you, you naturally want to just reverse time and never trust that person in the first place. But sadly, that’s not how the world works, Annie. More often than not, the people that really hurt you, the ones that really badly mess you up, are the ones that you let in. Because they’re the ones that are close enough to actually do some real damage. And all you can really do about it is choose carefully who you let in and who you force out”

Annie didn’t realize how tightly she had grabbed Jeff’s arm during his speech until she felt his muscles twitch under her fingers. 

“Is that what you did with your father?” She asked with a slight tremble in her voice “force him out, I mean”

He gave her a thoughtful look before putting on a barely believable smile.

“I guess he did most of that by himself. I just...gave him the final push”

She tried her best to show him an understanding expression. But her face quickly dropped when she thought about her own father again.

“I tried to force my dad out for years,” she said, “I definitely tried to when I saw him today. But it didn’t work. I still feel this…this conflict inside me. It’s not easy to describe, there’s just so much going on. But I know for sure, that that’s not what closure feels like”

“Well…maybe closure isn’t really what you’re after,” he said.

Annie looked at him in confusion.

“What do you mean? Why would I not want closure?”

Jeff hesitated to answer and she could see the wheels turning in his head.

“I’m not saying that you don’t want to resolve this situation,” he said. “All I’m saying is that maybe, deep down, you don’t want to leave your dad behind for good. Maybe, there’s a part of you that actually wants to reconnect with him, or at least talk to him and hear him out”

Annie looked at him, before letting her gaze fall to the floor.

“Jeff…I know that talking to him, having an actual conversation would be the mature thing to do. But honestly, I...I don’t know if I can do that”

Jeff got up from the couch and kneeled down on the floor in front of Annie. She slightly raised her head to look him in the eyes.

“It’s ok,” he said, “I was struggling too when I met my dad again. Honestly, if Britta knew any boundaries, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. But luckily for me, she’s the worst. And I got to see my dad for who he really is and close that chapter for good”

He moved his hand to her cheek and brushed a stray strand of her out of her face. 

“And please don’t get me wrong, but judging by what I’ve seen so far, I think your dad might just be a little less of a selfish dick than my one” Jeff said, the corners of his mouth moving up slightly.

But Annie didn’t return the smile. 

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” she said, “I’m afraid that he’s just going to be this nice and caring person. He’s going to apologize, promise that everything will be better from now on. And I’m going to believe him. I’m going to let him in again. And then, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next year, but at some point, he’s going to hurt me again. And all the crap I went through will just start all over again”

Jeff started to say something but hesitated. He looked her deep in the eyes and Annie wondered what it was he saw in them, that made him reconsider his words. But Jeff quickly composed himself again.

“I get it. I get that you’re scared, and that’s ok Annie,” he said, “you don’t need to make any decisions straight away. It’s something you should really think through and I’m not going to push you. Take all the time you need. But there is one thing I want you to remember”

“What’s that?” she said.

He paused for a second and put her hands in his. His eyes were still fixated on hers.

“Whatever you decide to do with your dad,” he said, “and however the universe decides to mess with you next, I promise that you will never have to face any of it alone ever again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I really wanted to get this chapter out today, since work is probably gonna keep me quite busy the rest of the week, so I didn't proofread this as thoroughly as I probably should have. I still hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated!


End file.
